Long overdue picture post & update!

I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack! ;)

Here goes....

April Pictures

My new fav work pants I'm obsessed with!

Favorite PJ's....love that ass! ;)

May Pictures

Mother's Day with my babies!

05-22-11

05-28-11 TODAY!!! Holla! Swim season!!!

So....ahhhh, where to begin! I'm going with categories so it's easy to follow and I don't forget anything.

Medication: It appears as though my last update was the end of March pre-meds. So, my MD did put me on a prescribed stimulant and it's been wonderful! Mostly affects me with focusing at work and in conversation! So yes, I'm still on it and it just seems to be the best bet for me. Konnor is a different story. They put him on a medication for his ADHD (which, we needed SOMETHING) but it gave him nightly, horrible nightmares so I took him off it after a week and have been trying to figure out what direction to go since then. I'm a bit clueless at this point, but I won't put him through side affects like that. So...we pray and I ponder the options cautiously. 

Weight: I currently cover between "maintaining" 217-220 and it's weird...b/c I'm still at a size 14. Sometimes it feels tight, sometimes loose. I've just lost all motivation to TRY to lose. Actually the first 2 weeks I was on my medication, I lost the desire to eat and didn't eat much. (Also, post-break-up-with-Lloyd and pre-medication I had gained up to 229 (!!!!) from emotional eating) So those first few weeks on the med I lost down to 217, so 12 lbs in 2 weeks! That was good and I wasn't shocked by it because I had put on those 17 lbs (ugh) during the post-break-up-with-Lloyd emotional eating/sad/craziness/whirlwind drama. So I was thankful those came off fairly easy, put 'em on and lost 'em all within a month. I really NEED to get back on track to lose but I haven't been motivated much. I really think the reason for that is wrapped up in men, which I'll hit on that below!

Exercise: I don't think I worked out much in April. I probably did a few workout videos at home here and there, not much to brag about. In May I started back to my hiking. It's funny because so many people here hike most during the winter because our summers are so hot. But I swear, when it starts getting HOT outside is when I CRAVE being on top of a mountain! The sun just draws me out and I MUST go. So because of my new job (I'll talk about below) I realized it's like 4 miles from one of my favorite hikes, South Mountain. So I've been doing that 1-2 times a week the last few weeks. Not much to brag about but for now, I enjoy it and I stick with it. So that's SOMETHING!

Fill: Still no fill for me. Still not insurance, but I hope that comes in the very near future! Although, I must admit, I do feel my band. Oddly, with me doing nothing to my band, I feel it most days. I rarely forget I have it lately. So strange. Feels tighter now than it did 8 months ago! I do believe if I got a feel and got to that "sweet spot" it'd inspire some weight loss. But I'm also not stressing over NEEDING one right now b/c I'm not out of control with my food 99% of the time. I actually PB now...more...maybe 3-4 times a week. I throw up a whole meal maybe once a week. I can't eat certain foods anymore, which is a nice change. I finally find myself avoiding specific foods b/c I think "that just won't go down", which is, after all, the reason we got banded! So it's nice to have that awareness again b/c I lost it for probably....a year! =/ But we're good now!!!

Water: This is still a struggle for me. I do crave water more when it's hot here, so that helps. Before I went on my medication my daily liquid consumption consisted of a Monster Energy drink first thing daily (for the caffeine) and then maybe a sweet tea (for the caffeine). I'd try to focus on water the 2nd half of my day but didn't always because my mom keeps Coke in the house, like a ton, and some days it's way too easy to just grab one instead of THINKING of the right thing to do. BUT I don't do the monster energy drinks anymore and I do still have sweet tea probably 4 days a week. The rest is water but it still seems hard to meet that old 100 oz./day daily goal that I USED to meet.

Work: Still at Qwest, yay! Love it, love my boss, love the director, love the environment and allll the people there! A week ago the director emailed me and said there was a company job posted online she wanted me to apply for, she said I'd be perfect for it! I'm like "wow, awesome, will do!" and I did! THEN she emailed the guy interviewing for the job and said "When you're done interviewing everybody else, this one I'm sending you is who you're gonna wanna hire!" I can't tell you how awesome and amazing it feels for someone to have my back like that! My interview is June 2nd!!!!!! =D

Home: Still living with mom, not so "yay", wah wah! Oh well, such is life! I can't move out on my own unless I land this new job within Qwest. The job I have now I LOVE so I don't wanna leave, but now way can I afford to live on my own while maintaining my current position. And I find it hard to look elsewhere when this job challenges me, pushes me, appreciates me, and I find myself enjoying my time AT work. THAT is hard to find and so I value it!!!

School: Planning on getting back to school. I've gotta take 6 hours in 1 semester before they'll let me get student loans again. I really wanted to shoot to do that over this summer BUT I have to pay the tuition for those 6 hours MYSELF...take into consideration what I just said about my job and well...that seems impossible at this moment. I'm currently focusing on saving for a trip to Arkansas in July which we HAVE to do because Nathan gets Konnor for 2 weeks in the summer and I have to pay for his trip home. So then Riley and I are just going to go out at the same time.

Career: So I just starred at that flashing cursor for a few minutes, lol! Trying to think. It's almost 2am and I'm tired. But so any ways, I'm pretty certain if I had my way and it wasn't too difficult, my preferred career at this moment is to be a Psychologist/Counselor. So I need to complete my Bachelor's in Psychology and that'd take about 2 years from now IF I went to school full time, 15 hrs a semester. Currently I don't have the time for that with working full time and being a single mom...so it'll take me longer. But it gives me some perspective! I really look forward to it!!!

Men: God, so complicated but I dont' feel like taking a whole 'nother post to explain it all so I'll TRY my hardest to make it brief. After I broke up with Lloyd (which I still believe was 100% the best decision for me, no regrets at all) I spent 4-6 weeks single, no dating, no male interactions, just focusing on getting passed the past and clarifying my mind on my intentions and desires. So I did just that. Then I renewed and updated my Match.com account. It went crazy immediately with attention...which is always wonderful for the ego! I didn't say yes to all. In the 4 weeks I spent "dating", I probably met 20 online, only talked to maybe 10, and went on about 7 dates with 5 different guys. So it's obvious from that that I only progressed to a 2nd date with two different guys. BUT, that second date ended it for me, something showed me it wasn't worth the time. So I have been very picky and selective and feel I have honed in on what exact qualities I need in a man, what I desire in a man, and what the differences are between the two. I only seek happiness and stability, no drama, no HS bs...just realness, authentic, passionate, friendship, a partnership!  I'm sure those of you on my Facebook probably saw the random updates "Going out with BLAH to the movies....Going out with BLAH2 to the races....Going out with BLAH3 to dinner" etc, etc. At a later date I'll have to explain how those whirl wind 4 weeks HELPED me come to the conclusion that I should be a counselor...info I did NOT post on my Facebook, lol! But so about 2 weeks ago I met Arlo on March. He lives in Tucson about an hr and a half from me. I was very hesitant to start and he EAGERLY persuaded me to give him a chance. So I did. First date...AMAZING! Second date just a few days later...even more amazing! He made my heart race and my skin tingle. I never wanted to leave him, both nights. No sex btw, so that's not how I mean that. Purely this odd, different dimensional connection, whether you call that emotional connection, mental connection or just chemistry, but it was not fueled by sexual desires...let me be clear, lol! Third date was wonderful as well, that was last weekend. After that date, leaving was near impossible. We spent 12 hours together and it just didn't seem like enough. To me...solely my opinion (although I think most my age agree) dating is when you're "dating around" which may or may not mean multiple people. And so that's what we were doing. After that 3rd date, I didn't want to be "allowed" to "date around", nor allow him to. I liked him enough I wanted him all to myself and that baby step into commitment. So, we became a "couple", boyfriend/girlfriend, all that jazz. Now that's been about a week and it's been all good. He seems a bit obsessed with me and I remind him to slow down. He reminds me, too, to live in the moment and enjoy the ride. Both of those things are thing we BOTH need to be reminded of. I see it as we balance each other out. So far, so good! yay! And just know this, we feel strongly enough for each other we are both making plans to meet each others kids in the next week or so. Why is that a big deal? Because Lloyd met my boys after 2 months and I NEVER met his kids, in 6 months. HE SAID he felt they weren't ready yet after separating from and divorcing their mom. Looking back, I feel it was bs, but whatever, it is what it is.

So that's where I'm at today. A very good place, on the edge of many great things!!!

xoxo,

Lizzle