My plan...

I thought I'd just write today, no pics. This process can be so difficult at times. I am one to always say "stay happy, stay strong, stay optimistic, etc". I have really struggled the last week. I think my downhill with food began this past Friday. I treated myself to super sodium high chinese food. I did NOT over eat that day, if anything, I under ate. Woke up to the next morning to +3 lbs, I guess of water weight. My hands and feet were swollen and it was awful. Also did a long hike that day before, so the swelling was either from that or sodium. Either way, the swelling made me feel bloated and put me in a major stuper. I don't like it when I don't feel well. If the ickiness is on the inside, I can deal. But when my body I work so hard to SHRINK is bloated or feels icky on the outside, THAT SUUUUUUUUUUCKS! So my lowest recent weight (before the chinese food) was 212. Got up to 215 and now I'm between 215-217 and that is sooooo frustrating! I know the first few pounds were water weight gain, then my eating did get out of control the last 3 days or so. I have GREAT restriction, but when Ms. Lizzy wants to eat more, I drink with my meals. It's the ONE thing I do to cheat and I do not do it all the time, normally, but I do purposely do it when I want MORE food. It's stupid, I know. Even doing that though, (my stupid justification) I can only eat maybe 1/2 of what I used to.

But so I have been disappointed with myself. Tomorrow marks June 1st. Which marks 19 days until my 1 year band-iversary!!! It's such an exciting thing and I've been working on my 1 yr blog and picture collage for over a week now. However, this recent weight gain has killed me. I had a secret, mental goal to get to 205 by my anniversary. So if that's possible NOW, I'd have to lose 10ish pounds in 19 days. I have no clue if that is actually realistic or not. I do believe I could get a few pounds off with a diuretic to get my swelling down. See my thing now is that THIS, my life, is not a diet. I do not want to eliminate food groups, food items, or beverages FOREVER or for 2 wks. I just refuse to. I want to eat anything I want, the healthiest alternative possible, and indulge on SHIT every so often. B/c when you "eliminate" stuff, you "crave" that stuff! So I'm thinking of trying some things to spice up my routine and SHOCK the hell out of my body. Here are my ideas:

*2 days of a kidney cleanse (aka diuretic). I'd do this by mixing 1/4 cup of 100% cranberry juice in a bottle of water. Drink that, in each bottle, and ONLY drink that. Eat normal food, but that's the only drink I can have to empty out and cleanse my pee system (whatever that's called, lol).
*1-2 days of a fruit flush. Eat nothing but fruit and only drink water to cleanse out my digestive system.
*Then finish those 2 things up by starting a serious vitamin/supplement regimen. I never take mine and I'd like to stop by wholefoods and get some good vitamins for specific things. Get committed to a regular vitamin schedule.
*Last thing to shake up the routine; start doing work out videos at home EVERY NIGHT! I have 5-6 and I'll have to do them all to find one I enjoy. But for now, it's the only form of exercise I have time for.

Speaking of time, me and my little family, our whole schedules change starting tomorrow. I still work Mon-Thur but the boys start a new school here in town. I am soooo excited! (for myself and them) Incase anyone forgot or is new since then, since mid-April I've been driving 150 miles a day (since we moved to Maricopa) to keep my boys in the school they'd been in for 3 years. I wanted to let Riley finish and graduate kindergarten there with his friends. Well he graduated on the 27th and their last day of school at the daycare in Mesa was the 28th. Now we've had this long holiday weekend and as it draws to an end, I am silently celebrating our new changes. Konnor starts the preschool program at this Preschool and Riley is doing their Summer camp. Their summer program is amazing, lots of science, lots of "exploring and travel" (pretend travel of course but they are studying countries all around the world all summer) and it's just going to be a ton of fun for Riley. And I can tell academically it will push Konnor and he will excel!!! So I am happy for that and I am happy that my commute will only be 45 miles daily ROUND TRIP!!! So glad to save on gas $ and save on the wear n tear on my car!!! My poor car, I love to pieces! But with all the long commuting I'd been letting the boys eat snacks and have drinks in my car and they have destroyed it. No amount of punishment made it clear to them that they must respect my car. So alas, no more food or drinks in mommy's car EVER AGAIN! Holy cow I'm excited!

P.S. if anybody knows of any other good cleanses (not diets) please let me know. I don't know much about them but I have one friend (skinny friend :D) who does them all the time strictly for the health benefits, NOT to lose weight. And that's my plan now, detoxify and clean out my body from the shit I've put in it lately. So throw any ideas my way!

love my lovelies,