Celebrating LIFE 1 yr banded!!!

Let me start like I’m accepting some fabulous award…..the Pulitzer Prize….yeahhhhhhh! So first I’d like to start off by saying “Thank You” to all of you. All of you who read my journey, comment on my struggles, say I’m an inspiration, and keep me going every single day. I read your journey’s as well, I have learned from so many of you, some of you taught me what NOT to do (no offense), some of you motivate me to get the hell up and stop being lazy, some of you made me cry, a lot of you made me laugh, and some you ladies made me feel like you were a 2nd…3rd…4th…and 5th mother of mine! I give you a HUGE ***virtual hug***! I don’t think I could’ve done as well without you all by myself, connecting to the PC every night to share in this community, laugh together, cry together, and just have the most amazing communial spirit with a huge group of strangers. Our lives are so different, some of us…our lives may never connect. A few of us, already hang out in person. We have been brought together by one common bond, very deep and true to us all; Our struggle with weight. It is a pain and life nobody else can understand unless you have walked in those shoes. I remember saying probably 1 month into being banded…that when we all reach our skinny goals that we would be “all that, and a bag of chips, plus some”. My reasoning for that then and NOW, is because I truly believe as “former fatties” we hold the ability to be such magnificent people. We know what it’s like to lurk in the shadows, to fear glances, to grimace at whispers nearby, etc. We suffered through that, fought through the fat, made a wonderful choice, and have struggled every single day to be the best us and lose the fat!!!! And I just think making it through to the other side, to a skinny life that a lot of us have NEVER experienced, makes us wonderfully well rounded appreciative women!!! So that’s why I say “plus some” because I think we rock!!!!!

Before I start on this big blog, I want to say 1 more quick thing. I am beyond excited, flabbergasted, and jumping for joy about meeting so many of you in September at BOOBS! I am so thankful it finally worked out that I can go, my mom is actually excited for me and willingly volunteered to keep my boys, and as my mom said to me “this will be a weekend you will remember the rest of your life.” I’m so glad that this was put together, thank you all you ladies who formulated this idea and have got the wheels in motion to make a wonderful thing happen!!! I’m stoked to be a part of it. And incase anybody wonders who I am when I “stroll” into the hotel, I will be the skinny ass chic, strutting in heels, hair blowin’ in the wind, Cell phone in one hand, and camera in the other hand “click click click” from the second my plane lands!!!!!! I will be the picture whore of the weekend, and I hope you like having your picture taken cuz Mama is comin’ picture crazy!!!!!! Might wanna take some ibuprofen ahead of time incase the flash of the camera gives you a headache! Hehe!

Incase anyone on here has missed MY reason for and issues with food, I am going to share again. Some people take forever, or may never, realize what their unfortunate connection with food is. I put a lot of thought into it and it just HIT ME one day, Jan 3, 2009!!! Thankfully, 6 mths before I got banded. I had my own personal website before I joined blog land and I am going to copy an insert here about my food issues…

                “My eating issues stem from control issues due to an ex-step-dad who would take food away from me or not allow me to have it. he would act like food was a priveledge and not allow me to have it. My mom would sneak me food when he wasn't home and if he found out he'd beat her when he got home. And somehow, he always knew. I was just 6 years old. Not long after that my mother left him. However, I've had to deal w/ these issues my whole life. And I honestly didn't even realize that he was the reason why until January of 2009. It hit me in a conversation with my sister. So since then I've had to tell myself that nobody is going to take my food, and to stop being so pocessive of my food, and it's ok if my boys eat "my food", b/c I need to learn to break the tie I have with food. I need my mind to know that food is just for the nourishment of my body, not to make me feel better or feel in control.”

SURGERY DAY: If anybody would like details on my surgery day, I will share the link. I wrote a very long post on it a few days after. If I share that all here it’d be way too much information overload on Libby Lou and you’d wanna vomit from knowing way too much about me. :D

http://www.freewebs.com/lizandrk/apps/blog/show/1222426-surgery-day


And incase you wondered, this is how Day 2 went for me…


http://www.freewebs.com/lizandrk/apps/blog/show/1222464-day-2-so-far




Weight: 68 lbs down!
Inches: 68.5 inches GONE!!! (That may seem like a ton, but I do measure each leg, each arm, etc. I don’t do one-sided measurements. For example, I measure monthly: neck, each arm, bust, abs, waist, hips, each thigh, each half, and my wrist. I did all these because someone told me pre-op I’d be shocked at the change in my neck and wrist…odd places.)


Here are my before/current measurements:




Area        6-19-09     06-08-10      Difference


NECK       15.5               13                2.5
BUST         52                 43.5             8.5
L ARM       16                 13                 3
R ARM       16                13.5              2.5
WRIST        7.5                6.5               1
ABS           46.5              37                9.5
WAIST       52                  43                9
HIPS           57                 44.5            12.5
L THIGH     33.5              27.5              6
R THIGH     33                 27                 6
L CALF      19                 15                 4
R CALF      19.5             15.5              4
                                               TOTAL: 68.5 inches 




Jeans: Size 22 TIGHT to Size 16 loose
Tops: 3X to L
Panties: 11 to 8
Shoes: 10.5 to 10
Bra: 40DD to 36D

My tips after a year being banded!

A TIP FROM MY MD: My md doesn't agree with your MD, your MD won't like what my MD says. They disagree or "differ" on so many points that it is best to learn early on to not compare MD's. Just hope and believe yours is telling you what is right for you and that their knowledge is true... then what everyone else says doesn't matter! However, if you dislike or feel uneasy with your MD, then FIND A NEW ONE! Your MD’s knowledge and support during this journey is instrumental!

EATING JUNK: I buy junk food/snack food when I want. MY catch is...I don't eat it right away. Somewhere I remember hearing it was scientifically proven that food cravings only last MENTALLY for like 3-5 minutes or something. So I'll get it (generally at work) and sit it on the corner of my desk out of site. Most days, or situations, I completely forget about it. I see it a few hours later, no longer have the craving, then just leave it on my desk. Now, NO these things do not pile up. I let myself have them every so often. But for example, right now I have a small bag of Doritos and a package of Ramen noodles on my desk that have been there for a bit. The noodles over a week and the Doritos a few days. Haha! AND I DO NOT HATE MYSELF IF I GIVE IN TO A CRAVING!!! I figure forever skinnies, do not dwell on occasional food mistakes. Here’s an article saying that… http://ifitandhealthy.com/how-long-do-food-cravings-last/

EATING OUT: If I want to get food at a fast food place with my kids...I DO!!! Praise Jesus, I allow myself to eat fast food. The catch is, most days, I order off the kids menu. And don't even finish that sometimes. If I don't want those items, I order the regular combo and eat 1/3 of it but I tend to get alittle butt hurt about wasting that money (ie. Wasting the food). If I go out to eat at a sit down restraint, I try to share with 1 other adult. So if we half an order, I can eat about ¾ of my half order.

EATING “A LOT” : I have a weird thing I do people may find crazy... you know how sometimes you get in the mood for A LOT OF FOOD! Like you don't necessarily want to emotionally binge but you just wish you could still eat a shit load of food! Am I aone? Hmmmm, ok then. So when that mood strikes me I'll do this: Say I roll up to an Arby's... I'll order a regular sized beef and cheddar, medium curly fries, a soda, AND an order of 3 cheese sticks. A lot of food, huh? Well no silly I do not eat it all. I remember years, years ago before Anna Nicole died when she lost all that weight on the diet pills, she said she'd still order a ton of food b/c she wanted the variety. She wanted to feed the craving for all 6 things she might've been craving at THAT moment, but not eat all of them. So like at a resteraunt, she'd order 3 entrees. Then she'd have like 4 bites of each and be physically and mentally satisfied. I DO THAT! I'll have 1 cheese stick, maybe 5-6 curly fries, and like 4 bites of my beef and cheddar. I still eat slowly, listen to my stomach, wait for the fullness to hit and follow the rules. I just like a variety every so often rather than all 10-15 bites of food being from 1 item, namely a chicken breast. So I spice it up, throw a lot of food on my plate every so often in memory of the "Good 'ol Days of Full Plates" but I just don't eat it all. I control myself. P.S. I LOVE the sausage Mcmuffin from Mcdonalds for breakfast. I treat myself to that 2x a week because it’s cheap and I take 1 muffin top (hehe, muffin top) off and have: 1 piece of sausage, 1 piece of cheese, 1 half an english muffin. And it is delish!!! So you have an idea how my restriction is, that makes me feel “satisfied” for 4-5 hrs.

PORTIONS: Something weird I've discovered a year post op: My eyes STILL have yet to catch up to my stomach. I figured the more I ate smaller portions, no snacking, small plates, etc....that my brain and eye balls would catch up and realize what LOOKS like too much food. It hasn't. I do know what is WAY TOO MUCH FOOD but I'm still working on finding that fine line visually on what is the right amount of food. So that's why I eat real slow, chew carefully, try to pick healthy options, and try not to drink with my meal. I figure if I follow all those steps, my stomach will tell me when enough is enough.

Slider foods: AKA MY MORTAL ENEMY!!! (and apparently the love of my life as well) hehe! these foods I have to be mentally strong. I love chips and I love pasta. So once I found it hard to NOT eat these foods early in my journey, I made a decision. I knew if I eliminated entire food groups and deprived myself of my favorite foods…then I’d BE DIETING!!!! This is a NO-GO for me! I suck at diets, I fail big time, and I hate depriving myself. So I decided I’d TRY to allow myself these “bad” foods every so often, in moderation, and not be on a diet. What I’m doing here, what I’ve been doing the last year of my life is slowly making small changes to make me a “FOREVER SKINNY” w/o having to work hard, think about it 24/7, or struggle. I wanted to change small habits, one at a time, that became new good habits that I could keep up with the rest of my life. Habits I can teach my children and I can stick to easily. That, I THINK, is the key for me. So when I want chips now I have SunChips. I choose these b/c they are whole grain, have a good flavor, and have good things in them. I’d say if you can cut out chips 100% then go for it. But I cannot, so I choose a healthy alternative. PASTA, OMG PASTA! I could’ve labeled my blog “Libby stuck in a bowl of alfreddo” for reallllllllllllllll!!!! So needless to say I love pasta; fettecinni alfredo in an Italian place, a box of macaroni and cheese, the chicken flavored noodles in the $1 packs, white rice, and ramen noodles. I love ‘em all. And, of course, all of these are full of carbs and white junk that is bad for you. I get that. The ramen noodles I buy for myself and Konnor and I limit myself. I cut out the macaroni and other noodles. When I make spaghetti at home I use wheat noodles. When I eat out, I get the wheat noodles. And in all these situations, I LIMIT MY PORTIONS before hand rather than eye balling it or going w/ “my gut” b/c these foods just slide on through!

IMAGE GOAL: Ok so great idea! I'm going to conduct my own semi-pro photoshoot!!!. Maybe when I get to 190 lbs! I'd do it now but I want some time to gather up the "special wardrobe I need". I got such groovy ideas this morning listening to lady gaga. I'm thinking a mix of Marilyn Monroe, posh (the chick), and crazy Lindsay Lohan, etc. I've got this idea for a retro theme (hence the Marilyn) to do my hair up curly like hers, sexy eye make up, lacey bras, short tight dresses, sexy heels, etc. For that one I'm thinking the backdrop would be in my bedroom and bathroom, do it up retro holding a cigarette or wine glass w/ red heels! Hehe! And for the posh looking one I have no clue. I just know I'll do my hair board straight where it comes right down under my jaw at a sharp angle, do some crazy eye make up and some kind of sexy attire. I would like to do the Marilyn pose in the bed with all white sheets, she's naked, her hair is tasseled, she has her red lip stick on and she's nakey under the covers. These photos will be just for me. I will share a few on here, of course, maybe hang 1-2 less risky ones in my room (gotta consider my kid seeing them). But I want a photo album of sexy pics of me representing the weight I've lost, that I rock, and that I'm sexy!!! They do that on that show on Lifetime that's about "Loving your body" and they go through all this self help stuff to love their bodies as they are, then they do a sexy or naked photo shoot at the end to be proud of themselves. That's my idea here! So I've got to have some time to buy the heels, lacey stuff, dresses, etc before I can do the shoot. I'll probably have my cousin do the shoot and jam Lady Gaga in the back ground!!!! I'm soooo excited about, so super excited!!!

SELF-IMAGE: Ok so imagine this. Pretend you are the fat girl in high school and you are supposed to go up on stage to deliver some sort of speech (and you are super shy). You’re terrified right? Standing back stage behind the curtain, waiting for them to call your name. Worried about every skinny student in the audience seeing your fatness and just feeling super insecure. Ok so imagine this as us. (at least for me, for sure). That time “behind the curtain” has been my life. Hiding, scarred, terrified of other peoples stares. Thinking I had a huge spot light on me just because I was fat. So I give this analogy to explain to you how I feel today. What the band has done for me, is life altering!!!!! NOW, I am standing backstage, patiently waiting for them to call my name, and I cannot contain my excitement to show myself off. The second they mumble the first letter of my first name I part the curtains with my hands like the red sea, doing it dramatically of course, and bust out. I pause…pose….smile…pose! Cheers! Rahhhhhhhhhh! Then I do my best cat walk up to the podium, knowing I’m hot shit the whole way, smiling ear to ear. But yet my face contains a bit of mystery because I have a secret. My secret is, my former life was nothing like this. My former life is dead. And now THIS, this is what I have. Everyday, I walk out of my house like that. Everyday, I walk through the hallways at work like that. When I walk to my car in the evening in the parking lot, I’m on a runway. A little charismatic and dramatic? Of course! I can’t be any different. I’m loving life, enjoying myself, enjoying so many wonderful moments anywhere and everywhere I go. And when just “life” gets boring, I do something adventurous to try to conquer a fear, to make sure I keep moving forward in my quest to be MY BEST SELF!!! Nobody else’s self either (or their plans, notions, or stereotypes for me) because this is all about me!

XoXo,

**Liz, Lizzle, Libby Lou**