So....
.... I got fired today! How do you think I should feel?
BAckstory: I've been there for 3 years and completely loved my job, loved the company and our (their) values, and loved almost all of the upper management. Loved the idea of visions we were moving towards in the future. I respected the company, listened in all the "boring" meetings, I just loved my job! Plus, it made me grow up! My longest job before that was 1 year and my job at ESI broke me in! :D So the backstory, about a year ago the head woman in HR tried to get me fired. She questioned my FMLA and they did an investigation. In the end, it all worked out after a lot of research and defending on my part. The MD verified all the info and they laid off. Then today, my sup walks me down to HR for a "meeting". They tell me they have been monitoring me and found me to be taking excessive breaks. Yes, it was true. I had done it a few times and they pulled up some BS warning from '08 regarding breaks and used that to fire me. In all reality, those warnings only last 1 calendar year, so I knew it wasn't valid. But I knew I couldn't fight for myself against that woman anymore. I knew she'd do what she could and she was the head of my HR. My sup was new. She told me as she walked me out that she was sorry and that they were working on that when she first took over my team, so she couldn't do anything to help me or defend me.
How should I feel?
How do I feel?
Well at first, I felt like shit. I cried in the HR office. Composed myself long enough to walk to my car. Bawled in my car for 30 minutes texting my Mom and my BFF to break the news. I was crushed! I felt like my world was collapsing in. Over the last 3 years of my life, ESI has been my stability. When we moved from rental house to rental house, town to town, ESI was my solid. It was the one thing I felt I could count on, that I loved and enjoyed. And I was still a "baby" when I started there. THAT job and the different managers I had along the way, ALL helped me to grow up alittle at a time. I truly believe that job made me a better person, a better adult. Geez, I mean I had 401k and a health acct and everything! I was a full blown grown up! :D
But in the end, I stopped texting and drove out to my favorite spot in the desert to "think". When my mind races I just need to BE in nature and to me, that's close to God. As close as I can get, at least. So that's what I did. Turned my phone off, took me my camera, a Monster energy drink, and myself down to the river shoreline and just sat. Took pics and talked it all out in my head. When I left there I had no more tears to cry. I felt great! I felt like I KNEW I'd be fine, I'd survive, I'd figure out the solution and that'd be that. No time for fussin', whining, crying, or complaining. It was MY fault that I DID take long breaks, so it's not like I can say I was done wrong or anything. It's never a pleasure to know your employer is LOOKING for you to do wrong, that sucks butt!
But, it's ok, it's all over, and I will be just fine. So then I came home, wrote for my new column, then went and got in 45 mins on the elliptical at my new gym, and I FEEL GREAT! I'll form a plan on the whole "new job" thing tomorrow. Tonight I'm going to chill, enjoy my kids, maybe write, and just breath!!!!
xoxo,
Liz
BAckstory: I've been there for 3 years and completely loved my job, loved the company and our (their) values, and loved almost all of the upper management. Loved the idea of visions we were moving towards in the future. I respected the company, listened in all the "boring" meetings, I just loved my job! Plus, it made me grow up! My longest job before that was 1 year and my job at ESI broke me in! :D So the backstory, about a year ago the head woman in HR tried to get me fired. She questioned my FMLA and they did an investigation. In the end, it all worked out after a lot of research and defending on my part. The MD verified all the info and they laid off. Then today, my sup walks me down to HR for a "meeting". They tell me they have been monitoring me and found me to be taking excessive breaks. Yes, it was true. I had done it a few times and they pulled up some BS warning from '08 regarding breaks and used that to fire me. In all reality, those warnings only last 1 calendar year, so I knew it wasn't valid. But I knew I couldn't fight for myself against that woman anymore. I knew she'd do what she could and she was the head of my HR. My sup was new. She told me as she walked me out that she was sorry and that they were working on that when she first took over my team, so she couldn't do anything to help me or defend me.
How should I feel?
How do I feel?
Well at first, I felt like shit. I cried in the HR office. Composed myself long enough to walk to my car. Bawled in my car for 30 minutes texting my Mom and my BFF to break the news. I was crushed! I felt like my world was collapsing in. Over the last 3 years of my life, ESI has been my stability. When we moved from rental house to rental house, town to town, ESI was my solid. It was the one thing I felt I could count on, that I loved and enjoyed. And I was still a "baby" when I started there. THAT job and the different managers I had along the way, ALL helped me to grow up alittle at a time. I truly believe that job made me a better person, a better adult. Geez, I mean I had 401k and a health acct and everything! I was a full blown grown up! :D
But in the end, I stopped texting and drove out to my favorite spot in the desert to "think". When my mind races I just need to BE in nature and to me, that's close to God. As close as I can get, at least. So that's what I did. Turned my phone off, took me my camera, a Monster energy drink, and myself down to the river shoreline and just sat. Took pics and talked it all out in my head. When I left there I had no more tears to cry. I felt great! I felt like I KNEW I'd be fine, I'd survive, I'd figure out the solution and that'd be that. No time for fussin', whining, crying, or complaining. It was MY fault that I DID take long breaks, so it's not like I can say I was done wrong or anything. It's never a pleasure to know your employer is LOOKING for you to do wrong, that sucks butt!
But, it's ok, it's all over, and I will be just fine. So then I came home, wrote for my new column, then went and got in 45 mins on the elliptical at my new gym, and I FEEL GREAT! I'll form a plan on the whole "new job" thing tomorrow. Tonight I'm going to chill, enjoy my kids, maybe write, and just breath!!!!
xoxo,
Liz
hang in there girl! I honestly believe that everything happens for a reason and I have a feeling a new a fabulous opportunity is just around the corner for you :)
ReplyDeleteDoors have to close for new ones to open.
ReplyDeletePlus your attitude is amazing! You'll be fine and you already know it.
Oooof! The tough thing is that this seems out of left field for you. As far as I understand your field is usually pretty good with available jobs, so maybe you will be able to find something that is closer to home and eliminates your wacky commutes!
ReplyDeleteOh Liz, I am so sorry. I was recently laid off by my company of 12 years (I started working there when I was 22 years old). I thought it was the end of the world, but it really wasn't. As trite as this sounds, it opens up the doors for new things. Apply for unemployment IMMEDIATELY, take the weekend to wallow, and start over next week. XOXO
ReplyDeleteI know you will get through this and the next job you get will be even better!!! You are just so positive and able to think things through so clearly.
ReplyDeleteBut, seriously, screw that lady. I don't know if you believe in karma, but she will get hers. Not good karma to try to get someone fired on purpose.
Thank you so much for the support! You guys are wonderful! I'm a trooper, I'll be fine!
ReplyDeleteUgh, politics. All I want is to find a job where petty personal politics are not an issue. I'm so sorry you had the rug pulled out from underneath you, but you have such a strong head on your shoulders, that you were able to bounce back so quickly is just tremendously indicative of your future success! I forget that quote, but something about how life is less about what happens to you and more about how you react to it. You just schooled life on it's own turf. Good for you! Upward and onward!
ReplyDeleteWhatever - their loss - the poopheads. I get this feeling you're going to be just fine....we're all here for you! You are not alone!
ReplyDeleteSo sorry Liz...something better is around teh corner for you ..stay positive
ReplyDelete