Stay
Stay
Why do people have to leave?
I cannot comprehend what motivates loved ones to abandon you when their purpose in life is to be there for you.
Family, partners who claim to love you.
They all leave.
Why can’t people stay?
Why can’t they hang around and be the support and love they promised to be?
Do they not realize how greatly their actions affect your life forever.
How hard it is to move past that?
How hard it is to trust and love and hope somebody new will be different.
When all you’ve ever known, is being left…abandoned.
How simple an action but great a gesture, that someone not run away.
Some days are easier than others.
Some days living seems impossible.
It makes it so difficult with someone new.
The greatness and beauty constantly over shadowed with this fear that they too will leave.
Their words of encouragement and acceptance don’t seem to resonate, because so many have said the same and still…they left.
Possibly, what’s worse, is when you have someone new who suddenly means the world to you,
Yet they won’t even say they will be there.
The fear of them leaving, I have found, is greater.
If those who promised to stay, left,
Then ones who make no promises, must leave as well?
I don’t like or appreciate this dynamic, this uncertainty.
It seems because one is so screwed up,
Nothing is good enough unless you feel they will just…stay.
What if you want someone to stay and they are the wrong person?
What if you hold onto a person in desperation for SOMEONE to stay,
But they are not for you?
Can you see through your own insecurity,
And see if it’s really someone you want to stay?
Can you stop clinging to people who truly are not for you?
Why do people have to leave?
I cannot comprehend what motivates loved ones to abandon you when their purpose in life is to be there for you.
Family, partners who claim to love you.
They all leave.
Why can’t people stay?
Why can’t they hang around and be the support and love they promised to be?
Do they not realize how greatly their actions affect your life forever.
How hard it is to move past that?
How hard it is to trust and love and hope somebody new will be different.
When all you’ve ever known, is being left…abandoned.
How simple an action but great a gesture, that someone not run away.
Some days are easier than others.
Some days living seems impossible.
It makes it so difficult with someone new.
The greatness and beauty constantly over shadowed with this fear that they too will leave.
Their words of encouragement and acceptance don’t seem to resonate, because so many have said the same and still…they left.
Possibly, what’s worse, is when you have someone new who suddenly means the world to you,
Yet they won’t even say they will be there.
The fear of them leaving, I have found, is greater.
If those who promised to stay, left,
Then ones who make no promises, must leave as well?
I don’t like or appreciate this dynamic, this uncertainty.
It seems because one is so screwed up,
Nothing is good enough unless you feel they will just…stay.
What if you want someone to stay and they are the wrong person?
What if you hold onto a person in desperation for SOMEONE to stay,
But they are not for you?
Can you see through your own insecurity,
And see if it’s really someone you want to stay?
Can you stop clinging to people who truly are not for you?
Powerful Liz....really. I've been there....
ReplyDeleteProfound. I hope you find the answers you seek.
ReplyDeleteOne day you will. I found my partner in life and there it's something words can't describe. It's a feeling. KNOWING for certain that we are here for each other - forever. This post reminded me of what a blessing it truly is to have found him.
Oh my gosh. I don't even know how to respond. Very deep. My husband had problems accepting my love early on. We almost didn't get married because he didn't believe my feelings were real. Just remember, as difficult as it is for you to accept love, it's also hard for the other person who doesn't feel trusted. This might make it even harder on you, but I had to say it.
ReplyDelete