Examine...

I took the boys to Apache Lake this past Friday for a few hours of beachy fun! The lake, surprisingly, was not TOO chilly but def. CHILLY! They loved it though!We had a 2 hr scenic drive in and out, into the Canyon...spent 2-3 hours there. Had a nice little picnic lunch, played in the sand, played on the boulders and swam! It was good times!

I decided that am getting ready I'd be brave and wear a bikini cuz I wanted to tan my tummy some and the day before I had been there and there was NO ONE there. So I figured maybe A FEW because we were going on a Friday afternoon. So I chose this suit of my moms that I saw to be flattering. I saw that in taking pics of myself in my bathroom mirror in multiple bikinis, lol! So I wore this. 

I got a little low on energy while there and wanted to sit back and sun. So I did. Lately, I've felt like when I lay on my back my ribs actually show. Monumental, right? YES! So I decided to try and take a few pics of myself laying down and just SEE how they turned out and HOW I appear to others. This is what I got...

I like! Me likey a lot! Ok so here goes my thought process...

1. My lower stomach is actually FLAT when laying down.

2. My ribs DO stick out.

3. You can kinda see my port there at the bottom of the left side of my rib cage.

4. I need surgery!!!!!

5. I have enough lose skin that you see it all falls to the side and pools on the towel below me, below my arm pits. NASTY! 

6. You can see the skin is pulling DOWN b/c my stretch marks are no longer straight lines (up to my boobs) but curvy lines PULLING down to the left (the ground).

7. I WILL also need an inner thigh left. See the extra skin gathered right at my bikini. I looks worse in person, looking straight down at it then it does in this side shot.

8. Oh AND my boobs both fall to either my arm pits or my collar bones :S

If I knew how to edit this photo and add little arrows to each area I was talking about, I would.

But in reality you must know, I am damn proud of this picture. I think I'm sexy, I feel almost skinny, for sure average! I am liking this person in the photo. I just don't know if I want to deal with saggy skin the rest of my life. I could do the tummy tuck and never do the inner thighs or boobs. But I seriously doubt my happiness in living w/o a tummy tuck. My lower stomach has been an area of GREAT despise since I was 10 YEARS OLD! That's when MY pooch began :( It went from a "solid pooch" to a "hollow hangy pooch" after kids. Ugh! It has always grossed me out. ANd NOW having lost weight and being active and loving myself, my lower stomach is now the ONLY area of my body that still bothers my confidence. The ONLY area!

So here's my plan.

2011- Get tubes tied!!! (I FINALLY made up my mind, to be done)

2013- Finish nursing school and reward myself with a tummy tuck! If I can afford it, 6 mths later I'll go in for inner thigh left! Then...if I can afford it still, I'll go in 6 months later for a boob LIFT (no implants for me).

Sounds good right? Two years from now should give me time to lose the rest of my weight and maintain at least a year, if not 18 mths. If I can afford it sooner, hell no I will NOT wait until I'm done w/ school. But I don't know for sure if I can save up for a tummy tuck until I'm DONE w/ nursing school. But know this, I will do it ANYTIME I have the money saved!!!!

xoxo,

Lizzle