A Welcomed Change!
Dear Diary,
I have decided to make a new, good, difficult change. Soon after coming home from my vacation my parents (mom and stepdad) made a proposal to me. They wanted me and the boys to live with them. We've discussed it before so we could all breath alittle easier financially but they always decided the stress of two lil munchkins would be too much. Well this time it was their idea. They said we'd come up with solutions and compromises to make it feel right for everyone. My parents are having financial problems. My stepdad had hydrocephalis of the brain about ayear and a half ago. He had to have brain surgery, and after a short recovery, he tried to return to work. He's worked for Empire (a catepillar equipment company) for 25 years. After a few mths of doing that, they forced him into early retirement b/c he wasn't willing to accept that he couldn't do the job as well. So after a few mths of getting retirement and junk in order, they were ok financially. Well Joe're retirement didn't last long b/c he didn't have as much as he should for a man in his 60's. They started sinking. They've currently exhausted every resource they had and I'm always hearing about it.
So when this was mentioned to me I was told it was my stepdads idea. My mom and I think he feels like he's very close to the "end of his life" and he's wanting to make changes. I thought at first he wanted to see his grandkids more, knowing it might be soon. But after being around here more for the last few days, I've realized what he's doing is he's preparing my Mother. He's done a lot of things lately that are out of charector for him, extra generous, extra caring. Mom said he'd have to get rid of some of his clothes he "doesn't wear often" (b/c he has more clothes than my mom) and he's always said no that he wore it all. haha! yeah right! But yesterday he came down the stairs w/ armfulls of clothes to go to Goodwill. In a sense, allowing his stuff to go for the first time ever and making room for us to be here. (They have a 4 bedroom, 3 bath, 2 story house so there is definetley room). And he just listed his car for sale. He has a VW Bug convertible and my mom has a Nissan Altima but she also has a company truck that she drives 95% of the time. So he just put his car up for sale, saying he'd drive moms instead of having 3ish. So it's just so weird for him to be giving up stuff, just bizarre!
My thinking after last night is that he wants me and the boys here to be here for mom emotionally and financially. Mom and I have talked about it several times and she agrees with me that that must be what he's doing.
Just for a brief history, he still has some of the symptoms of the hydrocephalis and the surgeon says they won't get any better. He also has reoccuring skin cancer on his cheeks and ears that he says he isn't going to get removed. His left arm and hand have been tingling the last few days but he says it's no big deals. His toes looks like they are a light purple or ashly like he's not getting blood to his toes. He is not diabetic. His only health conditions are high blood pressure (he's had since he was 19) and the hydrocephalis. That's it! He's was remarkably healthy until 2 years ago. Now that he's "retired" he plays golf 5-6x a wk and then just helps out around the house w/o any real enjoyment in his life! It's sad.
So we moved in w/ all of our personal things (clothes, shoes, toys, bathroom stuff, computer stuff, etc) yesterday! Today we are going back to our house to get any trash out, clean out the fridge, get the laundry out of the washer/dryer, take the trash out, gather up any more items that arne't going into storage, etc. So I figure we'll be busy all day today before we can relax tonight gettin' ready for the week!
So financially I will pay my parents what I paid in rent to help them out. And then what I paid in utilities I will be able to save, so I will be saving as well!
xoxo,
Elizabeth
p.s. If you are my friend on Facebook I have not mentioned on there that I moved in w/ my parents. I just said I was moving in the same town where it's cheaper for me. So pleae don't mention anything about my parents on facebook, there are just too many people on there I do not want to explain the whole situation to and justify my decisions. Thanks for your understanding!
I have decided to make a new, good, difficult change. Soon after coming home from my vacation my parents (mom and stepdad) made a proposal to me. They wanted me and the boys to live with them. We've discussed it before so we could all breath alittle easier financially but they always decided the stress of two lil munchkins would be too much. Well this time it was their idea. They said we'd come up with solutions and compromises to make it feel right for everyone. My parents are having financial problems. My stepdad had hydrocephalis of the brain about ayear and a half ago. He had to have brain surgery, and after a short recovery, he tried to return to work. He's worked for Empire (a catepillar equipment company) for 25 years. After a few mths of doing that, they forced him into early retirement b/c he wasn't willing to accept that he couldn't do the job as well. So after a few mths of getting retirement and junk in order, they were ok financially. Well Joe're retirement didn't last long b/c he didn't have as much as he should for a man in his 60's. They started sinking. They've currently exhausted every resource they had and I'm always hearing about it.
So when this was mentioned to me I was told it was my stepdads idea. My mom and I think he feels like he's very close to the "end of his life" and he's wanting to make changes. I thought at first he wanted to see his grandkids more, knowing it might be soon. But after being around here more for the last few days, I've realized what he's doing is he's preparing my Mother. He's done a lot of things lately that are out of charector for him, extra generous, extra caring. Mom said he'd have to get rid of some of his clothes he "doesn't wear often" (b/c he has more clothes than my mom) and he's always said no that he wore it all. haha! yeah right! But yesterday he came down the stairs w/ armfulls of clothes to go to Goodwill. In a sense, allowing his stuff to go for the first time ever and making room for us to be here. (They have a 4 bedroom, 3 bath, 2 story house so there is definetley room). And he just listed his car for sale. He has a VW Bug convertible and my mom has a Nissan Altima but she also has a company truck that she drives 95% of the time. So he just put his car up for sale, saying he'd drive moms instead of having 3ish. So it's just so weird for him to be giving up stuff, just bizarre!
My thinking after last night is that he wants me and the boys here to be here for mom emotionally and financially. Mom and I have talked about it several times and she agrees with me that that must be what he's doing.
Just for a brief history, he still has some of the symptoms of the hydrocephalis and the surgeon says they won't get any better. He also has reoccuring skin cancer on his cheeks and ears that he says he isn't going to get removed. His left arm and hand have been tingling the last few days but he says it's no big deals. His toes looks like they are a light purple or ashly like he's not getting blood to his toes. He is not diabetic. His only health conditions are high blood pressure (he's had since he was 19) and the hydrocephalis. That's it! He's was remarkably healthy until 2 years ago. Now that he's "retired" he plays golf 5-6x a wk and then just helps out around the house w/o any real enjoyment in his life! It's sad.
So we moved in w/ all of our personal things (clothes, shoes, toys, bathroom stuff, computer stuff, etc) yesterday! Today we are going back to our house to get any trash out, clean out the fridge, get the laundry out of the washer/dryer, take the trash out, gather up any more items that arne't going into storage, etc. So I figure we'll be busy all day today before we can relax tonight gettin' ready for the week!
So financially I will pay my parents what I paid in rent to help them out. And then what I paid in utilities I will be able to save, so I will be saving as well!
xoxo,
Elizabeth
p.s. If you are my friend on Facebook I have not mentioned on there that I moved in w/ my parents. I just said I was moving in the same town where it's cheaper for me. So pleae don't mention anything about my parents on facebook, there are just too many people on there I do not want to explain the whole situation to and justify my decisions. Thanks for your understanding!
I am sorry to hear about your step dad. It is great that you are able and willing to help them out. I know things can be a lot different moving back home after being out of the house, but I will be thinking about you. I wish you the best. You helping them ends up helping you so I see it as a win/win!!
ReplyDeleteTotally understand :)
ReplyDeleteWhat a huge upheaval for you all: that said, it sounds like it might be an ideal stopgap for a while, while you both help each other out.
Good luck with it all.
PS Hope your stepdad starts to feel a little better. What he has sounds dreadful
Hugs! I'm glad this is going to work out for all of you and that you and your boys will be there for your mom.
ReplyDeleteThis will be an exciting change and who knows what it will bring! Hopefully it will work out for everyone involved. It sounds like your step-dad is going through a lot...Makes me worry and I dont even know him. Thanks for sharing and letting us know!
ReplyDeleteWow, I am so sorry to hear about your step dad. It sounds like you guys might be heading into a rough time for all of you. I am glad that you are going to be saving money, that's great.
ReplyDeleteI hope that everything works out well and that you settle in nicely.
Keep us updated.
Thank you so much for being awesome and willing to listen to me babble! It has been sad so far for me to be around so much and see just how much my stepdad is going downhill. Breaks my heart!
ReplyDeleteOn a happy note, I have MOST of our stuff here that is coming here. This weekend we are getting a truck and making the few trips to put all our furniture in storage. Once that is done I will feel much more focused on this new phase of life.
if my parents would take me, my husband, 4 kids, 2 dogs, and a cat .... we would go too!!!
ReplyDeletei think everything will work out well for everyone involved.