I feel sooooo bored....
....I mean, I'm sitting here at home with PLENTY to do (except no freedom to leave the house and workout or run b/c Konnor's home with me) but plenty TO DO! But I feel bored.
I feel helpless, trapped and lost. I don't know why I feel lost. When I do feel lost I want to color my hair, cut my hair, or take a road trip. Road trips REALLY clear my mind. Even if it's driving around Phoenix for a few hours. But I don't have the freedom to do that right now. And I sit here and wonder...."Why do I feel lost? What brought me to this mood and realization today? Why today? what's different? What happened?" and I'm drawing constant blanks.
All I can really figure is that looking through all those pictures yesterday and that May-August girl really bummed me out more than I realized. I don't know. But I woke up today determined to kick the Monster energy drinks, No mcdonald's for breakfast AND eat right. I accomplished the first two. My craving for an energy drink literally ruined our morning routine. I thought about it and craved the taste from the moment I woke up. Our morning routine as hectic, just as is. But add me bein' a grouch and my son leaving his jacket at school yesterday....I almost went nutso.
Then my mp3 player is tryin to die and that makes me very sad. Music saves my mood, it manages my life. Just sad.
My pre-period cravings (that I havent' had in 3 months) are freakin me the hell out. I cannot resist them. It is SUCH a strong urge, it's stupid! I've eaten awful today. I think after lunch I was up to 1100 calories. And no mcdonald's or energy drink, can you believe that. Just breakfast, lunch, and all the damn snacking I've done in between. It's stupid! BUT I am honestly tracking it all on myfitnesspal....so lying or hiding or secret binging. Just complete failure.
I'm hoping Lloyd will go white water rafting with me in the next month or two. I thought of that today in my sad mental state...I thought "WHAT CAN I DO OR PLAN TO FEEL ADVENTUROUS AGAIN?" And I remembered that HERE the season for that is over by the end of April. So I'm going to plan it for March or April. He can go or not go, I shall go alone if no one is interested in going. But today I'm focusing my energy on planning that and my 5k. Lloyd has promised to train for the 5k with me...he's gonna do the Couch to 5k program and I will do a modified version of it b/c I'm not a beginner. So I need to allow him 8 wks to do the training....then we'll do a 5k together. I may try to do one a few wks before that one. I need to do stuff NOW I'm so damn bored with my life!!!!!
20 more days until my CNA program starts! And I'm VERY happy about that but very IMPATIENT!!!! i WANNA DO IT ASAP! I'm very much looking forward to working 3 12-hour days a week and having 4 days of freedom with my boys! Very, very excited!!!
Geez, I sure don't feel like doing anything on my To do List today. Maybe I'll just lay around and watch DVR shows and paint my nails instead....hey! My nails ARE on my to do list!!! Semi-productive, right?? Whatevs!
My mood is just shit today. Blah!
Hope my unfortunate reality and crap-a-licous mood didn't weigh (haha) any of you beauties down today! I hope YOU GUYS have a marvelous day!!!
Better luck for me tomorrow. Hope the scale isn't super mean and realistic tomorrow! :(
xoxo,
Libby
Thought i'd add a pic for fun, from the Superbowl party!
I feel helpless, trapped and lost. I don't know why I feel lost. When I do feel lost I want to color my hair, cut my hair, or take a road trip. Road trips REALLY clear my mind. Even if it's driving around Phoenix for a few hours. But I don't have the freedom to do that right now. And I sit here and wonder...."Why do I feel lost? What brought me to this mood and realization today? Why today? what's different? What happened?" and I'm drawing constant blanks.
All I can really figure is that looking through all those pictures yesterday and that May-August girl really bummed me out more than I realized. I don't know. But I woke up today determined to kick the Monster energy drinks, No mcdonald's for breakfast AND eat right. I accomplished the first two. My craving for an energy drink literally ruined our morning routine. I thought about it and craved the taste from the moment I woke up. Our morning routine as hectic, just as is. But add me bein' a grouch and my son leaving his jacket at school yesterday....I almost went nutso.
Then my mp3 player is tryin to die and that makes me very sad. Music saves my mood, it manages my life. Just sad.
My pre-period cravings (that I havent' had in 3 months) are freakin me the hell out. I cannot resist them. It is SUCH a strong urge, it's stupid! I've eaten awful today. I think after lunch I was up to 1100 calories. And no mcdonald's or energy drink, can you believe that. Just breakfast, lunch, and all the damn snacking I've done in between. It's stupid! BUT I am honestly tracking it all on myfitnesspal....so lying or hiding or secret binging. Just complete failure.
I'm hoping Lloyd will go white water rafting with me in the next month or two. I thought of that today in my sad mental state...I thought "WHAT CAN I DO OR PLAN TO FEEL ADVENTUROUS AGAIN?" And I remembered that HERE the season for that is over by the end of April. So I'm going to plan it for March or April. He can go or not go, I shall go alone if no one is interested in going. But today I'm focusing my energy on planning that and my 5k. Lloyd has promised to train for the 5k with me...he's gonna do the Couch to 5k program and I will do a modified version of it b/c I'm not a beginner. So I need to allow him 8 wks to do the training....then we'll do a 5k together. I may try to do one a few wks before that one. I need to do stuff NOW I'm so damn bored with my life!!!!!
20 more days until my CNA program starts! And I'm VERY happy about that but very IMPATIENT!!!! i WANNA DO IT ASAP! I'm very much looking forward to working 3 12-hour days a week and having 4 days of freedom with my boys! Very, very excited!!!
Geez, I sure don't feel like doing anything on my To do List today. Maybe I'll just lay around and watch DVR shows and paint my nails instead....hey! My nails ARE on my to do list!!! Semi-productive, right?? Whatevs!
My mood is just shit today. Blah!
Hope my unfortunate reality and crap-a-licous mood didn't weigh (haha) any of you beauties down today! I hope YOU GUYS have a marvelous day!!!
Better luck for me tomorrow. Hope the scale isn't super mean and realistic tomorrow! :(
xoxo,
Libby
Thought i'd add a pic for fun, from the Superbowl party!
I hope you feel better and get your grove back...it's winter, it sucks! :-(
ReplyDeleteBTW, the pic's from your last post are amazing! Keep up the awesome work!
~S
nice cleavage! ;-)
ReplyDeleteSorry you are down. Sending you ((hugs)) and hoping tomorrow is a better day.
ReplyDeleteAw, I hope you pull out of the funky mood. I hate those. I typically do weird shit like lay on the kitchen floor, or clean out the shelves under my bathroom sink when I'm feeling like that. It freaks hubster out.
ReplyDelete