My Hair Theory

I am compiling pictures to prove my theory...maybe not prove but just to show you the change. At the end I'll explain my new theory.

2009

My hair May 2009 Pre-surgery. The longest it had been in awhile, I had it around this length the few years prior.

  

June 2009 - the morning of my surgery. You can see here I cut off some before my surgery.

November 2009 - I got brave here and cut in bangs! Didn't change the length much but this was a HUGE decision for me. And I loved it!

December 2009 - Still lovin' the "high" of the new bangs, I went ahead and cut MORE of my hair off. Here it came JUST below my shoulders, I guess. Fixed straight it came just near my collar bone.

2010

Feb 2010 - I cut it again! Shorter, up to where it just sat on my shoulders. Bangs were longer, to this side. This felt really good to me!

March 2010 - As it grew out a little bit, I still loved it!

May 2010 (that happy girl) I got all ballsy and cut MORE off. UP TO MY CHIN! 

May 2010! I really loved it! So easy to fix, I was working out a lot and I could just sweat my butt off, wash it super quick and it'd be fixed again within 20 minutes after a shower! It was soooo convenient! 

July 2010 again - This is how I'd fix it straight being that short. I loved it! See the light and happiness in my eyes?? I do!

September 2010 - It'd grown out a tiny bit but not a lot, I kept it trimmed.

December 2010 - I began shortly after Sept growing it out. I honestly think it was b/c Lloyd mentioned he liked long hair. I had missed my long hair. So I thought I'd let it grow out a little and see how it went. (This pic honestly reminds me of when I was 16) Take note, no bangs. I miss the bangs!

2011

Now! Feb 2011 - It's a bit longer than December. Harder to tell when it's longer. 

My hair now is beautiful to me. I do love it! I've always loved my long hair. And as it became more familiar to me. I got more compliments on my hair again. But here's my theory....

THEORY TO FOLLOW...

Cutting my hair initially (just before my surgery) was a turning point in my journey and success. You can see it got the shortest in Feb 2010. May sound crazy, but the long hair reminds me of the old Liz. I've had long hair since I was 12. Before my surgery it came to my butt. It was my security blanket. It comforted me because people had always said "Your hair is so beautiful"! It was the ONLY compliment I got when I was fat-er :/ Then I ended up cutting about 4 inches once every few months. That first cut (pre-surgery) I wasn't nervous about! I was very excited! I knew I had a lot of hair to spare and it grows super fast, in case I didn't like it.

The next cut (post-surgery) and bangs, was scarier! I thought about it for weeks. Considered many different hair cuts. Even posted a blog on here about it. It was very scary. But as soon as the beautician made that cut, I actually felt very happy and optimistic about it. So much so I went back in a month and cut off 4 more inches bringing it up to my shoulders. Then a month later brought it up to my chin! It made me feel good. I just cut more every time I felt stronger. Every time my confidence grew I no longer felt the need for the hair, the security blanket. The short hair made me feel like someone new, someone different, someone better, someone athletic! Like it was a physical representation of my inner change and it showed the new person I was.

For me this whole journey has been about changing the things I did not like about myself on the INSIDE AND OUTSIDE. It's not EVER been just about losing weight. It's been a personal journey I didn't have the strength to do until just before my surgery. I had been too scared to reach for what I wanted, had NO confidence to do the scary things it took to make it to where I am now.

And I'm just wondering that if REALLLLLLYYYYYYYY my last few months of not losing weight....DID I GROW MY HAIR OUT FOR THAT COMFORT AGAIN? DID I NEED MY SECURITY BLANKET BACK? I've told you all recently I am not a fan of the weakling person I've been the last few months. I'm not proud of her. I miss the courage and confidence from a few months ago. So did I do this on purpose WITHOUT EVEN REALIZING IT? 

I'm thinking YES! And now, it all makes sense to me. And now I feel the desire to go and cut my hair off asap! 

OR if this IS the case, do I not cut away my security blanket b/c I'm going through some difficult times? Could it make the depression worse? Or could it free me, just momentarily, and make me feel a little better for the time being while I straighten out my life?

so that's my theory! Let me know what you think. Have I gone nutso in search of a resolution? Or is it feasible? Makes sense to me. But me is so not put together lately....

Have you made big or little changes to your hair during YOUR journey? If so, were they big or little? Did they feel GREAT or did you regret it? I'm just curious if this applies to more people than myself.

xoxo,

Liz