Food! You just go to hell!

Okay so i must admit something...for the last week I somehow forgot I had surgery. Is that possible? I got soooo busy with work, riley starting school, and then our last minute trip to Cali. I didn't do any of the "no no" things, I just didn't "think" about anything. Normally, I weigh out food, measure, or plan ahead. I also plan how often I'm going to eat, like every 5-6 hours and I plan WHAT I'm going to eat to balance out my protein/fat/carbs, etc for the day. Well I haven't done any of that lately. I was broke so I think that's how it started. I was surviving on ramen noodles for breakfast and lunch at work and leaving our other food at home for my boys to eat dinner. And I quit tracking my food on my site. I am stilling taking my vitamins, getting all my water, walking around (though still not gettin my ass to the gym) and barely snacking. I snacked some on our trip b/c I'd have some sun chips to stay awake during the drive. I had mexican food at my step brothers and stuff but I had it all in moderation. I followed the 30-20-30 rule even though none of them know I had the surgery.


And the crazy thing about all of this, is I felt good. I haven't weighed myself since back from our vacation b/c people always say they gain 1-5 lbs on vacation but I think I did well with portion size though. So I didn't weigh. Maybe in the morning. I'm FEELING good. I'm poo'ing and peeing normal, like a regular person. I don't feel so stressed over food, measurements, and times. Though I do feel like I NEEd to do those things to be successful. We'll see. Depending on what the scale says tomorrow I will either a) flip smooth the hell out and be disappointed or... b) actually be less and keep on keepin on w/ my laid back approach. I am still calling my MD to get a fill in the next week or so though.

My mom says she hopes I don't "forget" I had the surgery. I really don't think I could for sure. I mean maybe I sort of forgot b/c I'm been stagnent now for 6 week with no POUNDS progress. I am trying to be "okay" w/ the process b/c I beat myself up wayyyyy too easily. So I guess in an effort to not do that it may come across as me not caring. Maybe there's no real in between for me. I don't know. I just know that this means the world to me, I want to succeed, I want to do amazingly well, etc. I feel good and thinner now b/c I'm more comfy cozy in the 250's but when I saw pics of me at the beach it was like my soul melted. I still look so huge. It's stupid of me to not think that b/c I am 259 lbs for God's sake, but I swear some of the mirror shots of my body I take of myself look good. So it's weird that there is somehow a difference when you're out in daylight and caught off gaurd.
xoxo,
Liz